2004-09-03 - 4:24 p.m.

Big MaMa's Pickled Sausage

I couldn't make this up if I wanted to! Next time your in your friendly neighborhood convenient store you'll have to look for this. It is Big MaMa's Pickled sausage. Their is nothing natural about this. Not in color, not in texture, not in ingredients. How doth I know about Big MaMa....Mr. Wonderful has taken a liken to her. However it only goes one way. Apparently the mechanically separated chicken parts (it says so under the ingredients, take a look) don't like him. He is now banned from ever eating another pink pickled sensation. I don't care how open we are about gas in this house; what Mr. Wonderful put me thorugh last night was rotted. So let it be known, Mr. Wonderful will cease to be Mr. Wonderful if he ever lays a hand on those things again.

I took the kids to a new homeschool group this morning. They really enjoyed it, as well as I. Go figure the last group I was in had control issues and I just didn't like the moms. How mean is that? But we just didn't click, I cannot help that. Things clicked today, which was great. I felt like this could really be a great group for us. They are learning latin, how cool is that. Not that I will use that anytime soon, but still cool. Anyone else want to volunteer to learn? Then we can just call each other up and speak latin and be impressed with ourselves. OK, got a little off topic. Having an ADHD moment.

Low Point of the MOment: If a first impression is everything, I probably left a smelly one with the homeschool moms. Not a Big MaMa's pickled sausage smell, but a just did water aerobics on the pool deck wearing my doo-rag sweaty smell. he he he I said doo-rag.

High Point of the Moment: Feeling very earthy and cosmically in tune. Dealing with grief in a healthy manner. Could be joy joy feelings from getting laid last night, but we'll just go with the flow eh.

2004-09-01 - 7:29 a.m.

Mr. Wonderful vs. the Possum

I have the most excellent Wonder Woman theme for my computer. The only problem I have is when you click something you "can't" click, it plays the Wonder Woman theme song. Kind of my computer's way of calling me a dumbass. Speaking of dumbass, I am getting mildly concerned for myself. Now, I have never been a great speller. I have never claimed to be. But the words I have mispelled lately have really been disturbing. I mean, I am missing the easy ones. In the last comment section alone I found three (granted one was a typo). But who the heck misspells turd?? Apparently me. So, while others make pledges never to drink until they puke, I pledge to work on my spelling and grammar. For pity's sake, I homeskool....just kidding.

We have a new summer guest. While ratty rat rat has never returned, he sent his cousin from the country, Peabody Possum. We have spotted him a couple times over the past week. He comes out at night to snack on the cat food. He does a very good job at it too, considering how round he is. And all this time I thought my cats were just pigs. Who knew? We have a carport with what I like to call the man-cave. It's the place Mr. Wonderful puts his manly tools, and manly paints, and all those manly things like cobwebs are allowed to exist. This morning, Mr. Wonderful woke up at the crack of dawn like always. He opened up our kitchen door to let the cats out. He sees Peabody! In all his early morning brilliance he decides to chase him away with a broom. Ding ding ding....round 1. Apparently Peabody doesn't scurry , he just sort of waddles. But then again, so does Mr. Wonderful before that first cup of coffee. If you haven't figured it out by now, please. Mr. Wonderful chases Peabody right into the man-cave. Now he's late for work, he has got to go. Peabody is happy, and has now scored a point. Peabody 1. Mr. Wonderful 0.

I just had to share my chinese fortune with all: "You understand how to have fun with others and to enjoy your solitude" Well, that may be, but mom said that would cause me to go blind. I'll stick with fun with others.

Low Point of the Moment: Our children's pastor is leaving to go to Florida. Happy for him, but most definitely our loss.

High Point of the Moment: Tas Philas! Greek for female friends. I am so blessed to have such a circle of friends!

2004-08-28 - 2:36 p.m.

Opera Wars

Enter the theme music, flash the wave of stars, you are entering the Opera Zone. To set this up: Winston-Salem is not a huge city. We are not small, but by no means are we like.....Boston. But we are big enough for say, two opera company's. Some people don't think so. Opera Man, bless his heart, has just been working so hard to get this project off the ground. It has been an uphill battle the whole way. Most of this battle coming from the existing opera company in town. They're like Highlander man....."There can be only one". So he is battling this other Opera Company when he firmly believes there is plenty room for all. I have to be honest. At first I was all focused on me (shut-up all who know me....I know, thinking about me, that's new). I was overwhelmed with all the sewing to be done. But Opera Man has a dream. It is a wonderful dream. This isn't just an Opera Comapany. It's promotes opera to those who normally wouldn't be exposed to the arts. It gives African Amreicans a chance to perform roles they might not get the opportunity to perform. I cannot say much more....giving as the other opera company (I guess I could just shorten it to OC, but let's not get our drama's confused) cannot make any comment without consulting their board. Mmmmmmm OK, don't want to get sued here. We just want to put on our little Opera. So Long story....well....long.....we don't have the money for fabric. I cannot start sewing until next week......that's if we can get the money in............that's if we don't have to put off the date again. This whole thing kind of reminds me of trying to get credit. We can't raise the necessary money until we put on an Opera, but we cannot have a opera until we raise the necessary money.

Alright, alike Mary J Blige, no more drama for now. Favorite moment of the week: My son says he doesn't feel well. He doesn't feel hot. While I don't leave him in childcare, I don't feel he is really sick and take him with me to train a girl for a water aerobics class. Wrong choice. He is sitting on the pool deck and and Blech. Puke all over the deck. OK.....had to pick up Opera Man and get him to a meeting. My son is feeling better since he puked. We are all loaded up into the car where my son (without warning) proceeds to puke again. Alright, it's going to be that kind of day. Opera Man, who took it all in stride, for the first time made himself at home in my car and rolled down the window. I am thinking about how kayoss rules in my life and how I wouldn't know how to function without kayoss. My daughter is giving the play by play on where the puke is going, what it is hitting and how it smells. We didn't need to know how it smelled. We all smelled it. My son.....oh my my son. My son is laughing at himself. I don't even know how to begin to analyze that one.

Low Point of the Moment: Yelling at the children because they are being too loud and I can't think. I can't think, therefore my writing is crap. (Which my writing is just crap today anyway, nothing to do with the kids)

High Point of the Moment: Actually having the time to sit at the computer and do more then check messages.

**On a side note 13 Going on 30, very cute and just what I needed to shut the brain off the other night. Good choice.

***On another side note, it's that time again. DO YOUR MONTHLY BREAST EXAM

2004-08-24 - 7:09 a.m.

I am old enough that the words fiber and bran are something to consider when buying a breakfast cereal.

I am old enough that I do believe I will never be "carded" again, unless I am writing a check.

I am old enough that piercing my navel is no longer cool, but just plain creepy.

I am young enough that fiber every day would kill me.

I am young enough that being carded for a check counts.

I am young enough that I have considered piercing my navel.......because it's cool.

Friday I took the kids to lunch at Burger King. They took our order at the drive-thru. I pulled up to the window paid. There is no one behind us, no one in front. They tell me to pull up and wait for my order. I do. They bring out my order from the front door. I ask, "Did you put the BBQ sauce for the kids nuggets in the bag?". Nope. So they tell me to pull back to the window (still no one behind me) to receive my BBQ sauce. Ummmmmmmm, OK.

Carowinds was great! It was everything we hoped for and more. The more being, the eaten chicken bone Mr. Wonderful found on his side of the bed! Disgusting!! I was kind of hoping for some sort of discount from COMFORT INN, but all I got was "we could have cleaned that up for you"??!!?? We had a good time anyway, life is full of chicken bones. Rode all the roller coasters this trip. I had high expectations for the concert. It surpassed every one.

Low Point of the Day: I have an appointment with Jarvis...who from here on out we'll call Opera Man. I'm ready to get this over with....but not. Also, back to life as I know it. Not that hanging out with my kids is so bad.....but it's not a day at the amusement park.

High Point of the Day: Still riding the high from the concert. Great worship time!!

2004-08-19 - 6:48 a.m.

Salami for the Mind

Names of Bubble Bath's I have used:

Cool Melon (the melon actually has the sunglasses on)

Bubble Trouble (bubbles gone bad)

Mango Tango (for the wild in me)

If your pets could come with theme music, what would it be? My cat angel's would be Jaws. He likes to sneak up on my feet. My cat Thomas would have to be Walking on Sunshine, he is always ready for love. Midnight, definitely Bad to the Bone. Oh Yeah. Magnus.....are their any songs about a dumbass? (and Nic Here Comes the Chief does not count)

If you could choose between 13 Going on 30 or Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, what would it be? (Really I want to know. I don't have time to watch both.)

It's never easy to shave a knee.

These are all things that proove, once again I might add, I am not right.

Alright...saga alert:

So a few months back I had mentioned sewing clothes for this new Opera Company in town. I was quite excited about it. Well he just contacts me a few days ago and says he needs four costumes within a month. These are 1860's era. The men..fine...easy enough. The woman is another story. We are talking Scarlet Ohara type dress. So I tell him I can't. He says, well their is no one else. I cave in, after all I did make the commitment, even though that commitment was months ago. So, for the next month I will be even busier. Will try to keep writing. Will try to not be too full of angst.

Low Points of the last few days: Overcommited, overwhelmed, over the hill

High Points of the last few days: Walter the Farting Dog book finally arrived! And two days and counting to Carowinds baby!!

2004-08-16 - 6:35 p.m.

Mundane is OK

Only my son could take a bath and come out sticky.

We have a new arrivel at our house. First name X, last name Box. Mr. Wonderful finally got his X-Box that I have been promising to get him for quite some time now. I think it was actually a let down for him. Now that he has it, there's nothing to shoot for. I keep telling him, there is plenty to shoot for. Like clothes for me. Like new pots and pans for me. He just doesn't get it. I don't understand. The kids are enjoying it too. Well, enjoying fighting over it. Just one more thing to disagree about I guess.

We officially started our new "fall" schedule today. While we did go ahead and start school last week, it wasn't business as usual in West Virginia. Today I became the Army. I acheived more before the sun rose than most do all day. Which leads me to where I am at now. Sitting, typing at the computer, with my feet in one of those foot massaging spas. Oh heaven. I have literally been going non-stop and feel I have earned this moment. Ahhhhhhhhh. Yes, I say again Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Low Point of the Day: Didn't work out at all last week. Can we say sore...once again.

High Point of the Day: I just realized it's less then one week until Mr. Wonderful and I get away to Carowinds. Boom Baby!

2004-08-13 - 9:13 a.m.

Have you noticed lately that fashion is a letter. Everything has letter on it. Purses, backpacks, jackets, and all other twaddle. Some designer watched too many episodes of Laverne and Shirley and had a brainstorm or something. I know it's getting harder and harder to come up with some "new" fad that the herd will follow, but my 50's icon television shows....man they are sacred.

Well, the trip to West Virginia went as well as could be. It was truly a trip of love. My love for Mr. Wonderful's other Grandmother. I went off my diet, ate so much of her food, and thought I would puke (which turned out to be only gas). That's love. My love for Mr. Wonderful. Looking the other way and pretending not to notice as he stuck his foot (sock and all) out the window of the car and pointed to traffic to look at his foot. That's love (or denial, time will tell). My love for Mr. Wonderful's mother. Smiling and nodding as I was introduced to person after person.....of which I can only remember one name. That's love.

The morning of the funeral, there were some tense moments with Mr. Wonderful's living Grandmother. I think she was jealous of all the attention MaMa was getting being dead and all. Yes, silly to us, but not to her. So I found myself making another trip to Walmart to go buy a shirt (yeah we used it, but could have got by without it, but hey running to Wally to buy mints ain't gonna cut it). So I took the opportunity to call my mom, who at this point in the trip, I was wanting to talk to so bad anyway. The phone rings. Her helper answers. Mom picks up. "Hey mom I know your busy, but I need to talk." Cough, cough, sputter, sputter, "Go ahead sweetie". "Mom, you OK?" "Yeah", cough, cough, "that lady was cloned." OK at this point in the conversation I actually think to myself, mom is crying because she thinks some lady that came into her store was cloned and the end of the world is coming. With out batting an eye.......I start venting my vent. Proving once again I am not right. In the end, it was the lady's cologne that was setting off my mothers asthma. But hey, you never know.

On a side note, I would like to say that funeral food and funeral flowers are the best. Therefore, let me present some really out there idea. Instead of waiting until the one you love is dead to send those flowers, or make that dish. Go ahead, give it to them now. I promise you, MaMa didn't get a bite to eat or smell a single flower.

Low Point of the Trip: I am sure someone has written down our license plate number after seeing my husband sticking his footed sock out of the window

High Point of the Trip: The peace. Plain and simple.

2004-08-09 - 11:23 p.m.

Late Night Catharsis

So here I am, the night before we go up to West Virginia, not sleeping. Something has me stirred, but cannot figure it out. Is it some of the "crossroads" type decisions I have made in the last few weeks? Is it dealing with feelings of grief over MaMa? Over Bethy? Is it that I ate at Waffle House tonight and it's just not sitting well? I can't tell. So here I sit at the computer. Listening to skate rat songs of my youth (New Order's Substance to be precise) on RealRhapsody. Sitting here thinking about the silly laws Mr. Wonderful and I were discussing the other day. Did you know if you commit suicide in public you will be fined? Did you know that the SkunkApe of Florida needs to be protected by law? Did you know that toe licking in certain European countries is soon to be outlawed? Heh.....I just like the word skunk ape. heehehe Having a Beavis and Butthead moment here. I said skunk ape.

Can't remember if I mentioned my new do. Not as in Mountain, but as in hair. My hair was getting pretty long and I whacked most of it off. It's not Demi Moore Ghost short, still shoulder length. But as long as it was, definitely a change. I like it, and isn't that what counts.

Low Point of the Days: Funerals suck

High Point of the Days: Enjoying the services of Real Rhapsody, music service extraordinary

2004-08-09 - 6:04 p.m.

Sabbitical, or spelled something like that

Pardon the time away. Last Thusday we found out that MaMa has passed away. We have been busy and distracted. The wake is Tuesday night. The funeral is Wednesday. Off to wild, wonderful, West Virginia. I will be back after then. We are doing well with it. There is much peace. Much acceptance. Thank You for all the prayers.

2004-08-04 - 12:00 p.m.

Dumb Ass

Define dumb ass: Someone who keeps clicking their mouse to get rid of the fly on her computer screen. I am not right.

I'm sitting here, like the dog I am, just waiting for the mailman. I have ordered some school books and hope that they will arrive today. So every five seconds I get out of my seat. I go to the window. I check to see if the little red flag is down. There's nothing in the mailbox mind you. I just put the flag up so I would know when the mailman has come, without going outside more than I need to. Make that lazy dumb ass.

I am excited. It's a new school year for us. Another year to guide and instruct. Another year to teach and be taught. There is always something magical about the start of a school year. It's a new beginning. Who knows what this year holds for my children. Let's hope some learning huh?

Low Point of the last few days: My Ebay swimsuit came in, it was too big. Gave it away to someone who could use it.

High Point of the Day: Losing weight again. Feeling good about myself and where I am at in life. Of course the Jeep doesn't hurt.

2004-07-30 - 10:50 p.m.

Jeepers Creepers

Why do the rednecks that live down the road give their 10 year old a Rottweiller and dirt bike to play with? I mean, he could poke his eye out right? Or just have his hand gnawed off. He doesn't need that hand anyway.

I have been coming to a lot of realizations lately.

1. Paper towels serve as napkins in my house, I have lived in the south too long

2. Kool aid only has two flavors...they just market it in 50 different colors and names

3. I am still coming to grips with the fact that a Cure song I used to listen to is now a commercial for Hewlitt Packerd. Geez. What's next, Violent Femmes does Kodak? (Yes, I was a skate rat. Get over it. I did)

I picked up my new car yesterday. Well, new to me. The plate begins with SXV...mom says that's for sexy vixen. God bless you mom. I spent today just Jeeping around town. I have noticed a few Jeepy things. There is kind of a Jeep courtesy between fellow Jeepers. Letting one in on the expressway, random acts of kindness on the road, stuff like that. There is this Jeep mentality too. Very out-doorsy, Rico Suavey, earthy feeling. And alike McDonalds, da da da da da I'm loving it.

I hate that I haven't had time to post much this week, but I am too busy telling Parkway Ford how much I hate them. Long story (and not very funny at all)short, my windshield is still not fixed....their bad. This dude Matt, I talk to him every time. If someone else will answer the phone, I am talking to head dude next time. Why? Because Matt is a liar and an idiot. OK, I really don't know his IQ, but he lies. He said he tried to call me a couple times and it just rang. LIE!!!!!!!! OK...chilling. The point being, I have been too busy dealing with Matt, so I don't have time for the computer.

Low Point of the last few days: Ummm, yes Matt

High Point of the last few day: Ummmm, yes Jeep

**Do your monthly breast exam

2004-07-26 - 1:07 p.m.

Alive and Kicking

Much to my surprise, I am still alive. I whine a lot, but other than that doing great.

I don't want to tempt the Citi Financial fates, but we almost have a loan for the car. This isn't just a car I am hoping for, it is sweet freedom. The freedom to drive down to Charlotte for the day for lunch. The freedom to drop in on my grandmother and get her to cook me dinner. The freedom to drive up north. The freedom to drive further south. You get it.....freedom. A car that goes out of town. Dare I dream.

Our tickets arrived for Michael W Smith and company. Getting very excited. A weekend with my Mr. Wonderful at Carowinds. Very sweet.

Nothing else to say, just tapped out I guess. Swim lessons end this week. Maybe that's what sucking the creativity out of me. We'll see.

Low Point of the last few days. My swimsuit still hasn't come.....I forsee some negative feedback on Ebay.

High Point of the last couple days: I counted five pansies so far. (That would be from my "garden" not my family)

2004-07-22 - 2:44 p.m.

Goodbye Cruel World

I have been thinking about death a lot. Mainly because I have been sick and I'm dying of course. I shouldn't joke, because I joked about God smiting me and now I don't feel good. But I know I am not just going to die peacefully in my sleep or some junk like that. My fate will be decided by choking on jell-o, or falling off a horse into manure, or some rare cow disease that a human has never gotten. That's what I have, some rare cow disease and I'm dying. Who get's a cold in the summer? Helpful tip for life #879 Stock up on your cold medicines in the summer, they are cheaper then if you wait until flu season.

On the positive side, we are trying to buy me a nice used car. A Jeep Cherokee. I like it, it's been taken care of well, now it's up to the money people. Pray, people, pray.....I would like a new car. Also, it would be nice to actually drive out of the city without having to borrow a friends vehicle.

**sigh thought sitting at the computer would distract me from dying, but alas.....

Low Point of that last few days: Sore throat, snot, whining more than usual

High Point of the last few days: Got my first paycheck after working there how long??? hehe Took them that long to get my paper work together. Bought me a nice suit off of EBay.

2004-07-17 - 3:19 p.m.

In the latest of events where I am trying to hurt myself, last night I twisted my ankle. In a rush (like always), not thinking (like most the time), I run out to the car to grab something. On the way back, I cut through some landscaping. I also found the big hole in the landscaping. Twisted the ankle and down I went. Yes, it hurt. It hurt today until I put an ace bandage on it. Now, I really look like a dork. Or someone trying to scam an insurance company.

Getting excited planning another trip to Carowinds. This time I want to take Mr. Wonderful to see Michael W Smith, MercyMe, and David Crowder Band. A concert that cannot fail to delight. I say I want to take....but it's all Mr. Wonderful's paycheck. Same difference. No offense Nic, but we are planning on staying at the Comfort Inn with a jacuzzi tub. While free is nice Jacuzzi tubs are nicer. Unless you had a jacuzzi tub you're holding out on me.

In other unrelated news, took the kids to the Greensboro Children's Museum. It's on my top ten list of things I actually like about the triad. There is supposed to be one opening up in Winston-Salem, but I don't think it's open yet. They have everything a kid could possible want to pretend they are anything. My son loved the firetruck, my daughter loved ATM machine (go figure), and I loved the bubble room.

Low Point of the Last Couple Days: The twisted ankle was one of many, many ways I have hurt myself physically. Thinking I pissed off Thor or something.

High Point of the Last Couple Days: Mr. Wonderful finally got a new antenna for his cell phone. We were constantly getting disconnected, it was a pain.

2004-07-12 - 8:10 a.m.

Dorks in Action and Bathroom Surfing

This weekend rocked! A friend took me to Paramounts Carowinds for Sonfest. To repeat myself, this weekend rocked! We met at my house Friday around lunchtime. I threw a bunch of stuff, including sunscreen, in my backpack and we were on our way. I figure, "Hey, I'll lather up the sunscreen when we get there so it lasts one hour longer." In all my dorkness, I forgot that Lisa has a sunroof. I arrive at Carowinds with a lovely sunburned forehead. I would like to say it was my only dork moment, but alas no. We can put crying for Mommy and wanting to suck my thumb before riding the Borg on the dork list. Oh, and getting goosed by some strangers big toe in the Ramblin' River(just don't ask).

In an effort to save money...we bought their $3 water bottle, then filled it up at the water fountain all day. It was hot, we drank a lot of water, so of course bathrooms we frequented. I can't help but coin the term bathroom surfing. Bathroom surfing is not looking for the shortest line to the bathroom. Quite the contrary. It's when you have a long line of open stalls and you peruse the commodes to see which one is a)cleanest, b)least amount of human hair, head or otherwise and c)already flushed. I got very lucky in this matter a number of times. God IS good.

Special Kudos go out to Lisa, whom without which this trip would not be possible. Thank You! Mrs. Nicole, who put us up for the night. Thank You! To other Lisa for watching my rugrats. Thank You! To Mr. Wonderful, who didn't get any sleep at all without his lovely wife. Thank You!

Low Point of the Weekend: Very hot, lots of sweat. Lots of people. Lots of people + lots of sweat = lots of stink!

High Point of the Weekend: While Carowinds was a blast, it's always a gift to come home to ones family......AND getting to shake hands with Jars of Clay

2004-07-07 - 7:58 p.m.

Hodge Podge

We had a lovely Fourth of July. Even the rain was great. If it hadn't of rained, we would not have gotten to see the double rainbow. We went over to Kernersville for our holiday excitement. Saturday morning they had a parade. Parade being some firetrucks, a big tank, lots of pick-up trucks with magnets of people's business' on the side, and candy.....and candy...and candy. Did I mention the candy? My two kids brought home a Walmart bag full of candy.... no exaggeration. Sunday night we went to town for the firewroks set to music. After the rain stopped, the music began. I almost picked every song they played, with the exception of Mariah Carey's Hero and Sarah McGlaughduhsduhf (have no idea how you spell it) I will Remember You. Didn't see either of those songs coming. At the risk of being branded unpatriotic.....I felt this year was more like Memorial Day versus celebrating our Country's birthday. But I am not complaining. As I said we had a great time!

Tuesday morning we traveled with the church to the Lazy 5 Ranch. This was too cool. I enjoyed this way better then the zoo. The animals come right up to you for photo ops and everything. At the zoo, while I love the natural habitats, if you don't have a telephoto, you're screwed.

Today I actually worked, like a full day. I haven't "worked" in a long time. I forgot what an 8 hour day was like. Someone pass the cheese, we have plenty of whine.

Low Point of the Days: Spending too much money, not good

High Point of the Days: Getting excited about going to Carowinds this weekend for Sonfest!

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