2004-06-07 - 5:14 a.m.

So I asked Mr. Wonderful if I should start shaving my nose hairs. He just stared. People are still staring, starting to get paranoid.

I spent the majority of the weekend helping some friends pack. Not their stuff mind you, but the stuff of the other friend whose house they are moving into (follow that one!). She has already left for TN and left a lot of stuff behind that is supposed to go to storage. So being as I said I would help the friend who has already moved, and I said I would help the friend who is getting ready to move, what a great way to help both at one time. But the coolest part, she fed me. Prooving once again, I'll go to any lengths not to cook.

Yesterday at church was promotion Sunday. My daughter moved up to second grade and my son (deep breath), my baby, moved up to Kindergarten (Is this how you spell it Mom?). Being a homeschooler, we don't really have a "big promotion", so we make a big deal about church promotion. He did alright....no worse then me. You could tell he wasn't super happy. Everything was new and he was making that face. Not so much like he ate a lemon but more like he had to take a dump. (which I KNOW he didn't have to do) After all was said and done, he said he had fun. And isn't that the point of kids church?

Every now and then I get an email that I just need to share...this is now. I'll let the email speak for itself: Secret Divorce Planning for Men

As Economy Unwinds:

Marriage Misery Skyrockets

___________________

Pasadena, CA

May 12, 2004

As job losses mount, men feel more pressure than ever from wives who want to maintain a lifestyle. The $30 manicures, $70 hair cuts, $180 shoes, $300 pocketbooks – not to mention the constant visits to the dermatologist. Facelifts, Liposuction, tummy tucks and endless credit-card-fueled shopping – all crippling men’s bank accounts. No matter where men look, budgets are shrinking, spending is decreasing and prospects to earn more seem farther out of reach. Meanwhile, wives are more unrealistic than ever – having gotten a taste of the good life during the boom days of the late 1990’s. Today, a rising tide of miserable men race to the Internet for ways to divorce without losing everything... Now there is something just for men who are so unhappy in their marriage that they are thinking of divorce. Divorce PREP™ is the brand more men trust.

Mr. Wonderful forwarded that to me......he just couldn't resist. Hmmmmm.

Low Point of the Day: Eating Kippered Steak for breakfast, what's wrong with me????

High Point of the Day: Today starts the new summer schedule. I am helping with the Family Life Center more. The kids are going half days to the day camp. This should be fun!

2004-06-04 - 6:29 a.m.

Under the heading my son just ain't right comes what happened yesterday. So it's summer. In the summer we get flys. Mr. Wonderful has learned not to swat, but vacuum. It's become an interactive game. So he introduces our son to this. My son starts vacuuming flys, we leave him be, all is well. A minute later we hear giggling. Yes, he is vacuuming his head. He thinks it's cool. It does make a neat hair style. I can't help but wonder if he's losing brain cells through osmosis, or if this is normal boy stuff.

Yesterday was just one of those days for me. You know, I went to the bathroom before water aerobics. Ripped my underwear when pulling it up. Prayed the whole time while teaching that my underwear would not complete the rip and that I might, for the love of God, stayed fully clothed while teaching. I have been taking this week off (due to my lung) of working out and I could feel it. All through out I kept having to catch my breath. Now what would you think if you took an aerobic class and your teacher couldn't catch their breath? Exactly. And I had about 30 pairs of eyes just staring at me. So I went into the whole lung story...thought it was a pulled muscle yada yada banana banana. And again, 30 pairs of eyes just staring at me. So then I said, " I hear there is coffee and doughnuts upstairs." 30 pairs of eyes smiled.

So afterwards, I pick up the kids from childcare. My daughter is happy and sad (her words). Why? Well it's summer and all the big kids are in childcare for the summer. What's the problem? She wants to hang out with the big kids and that leaves her no time for the kids she used to hang out with. So I got all motherly and went into the "friendships ebb and flow" speech. 1 pair of eyes just staring at me. OK, that didn't float. Then she asks me why we didn't park in Kansas? In what? "You know," she says,"that parking lot over there away from the church." It dawns on me she was refering to the night before when my friend said she had parked all the way out in Kansas. Sarcasm is lost on children. But I had the best laugh I have had in a long time.

Low Point of the Day: Tired of people just staring at me

High Point of the Day: I got some wonderful sun time yesterday, good thing too since it's raining this morning. But I keep tanning at this rate and I'll look like that lady from Something About Mary.

2004-06-02 - 7:35 a.m.

I asked Mr. Wonderful if he read the last post? He said yes. I asked if he laughed? He said no. I asked why not? To close to the truth. Ask a stupid question......I have been given permission to not play well with others. Cool, with that, I turn over yet another leaf. At the rate I am going, fall will be here before we know it. While I still have my crank out moments, I need to clean up the language. I am substituting more user friendly words. Like fudge, shooting star, doughnut hole. I'll let you figure out which is replacing what. This was definitely getting me some stares though. Hitting your head on the kitchen counter and following it up with "oh doughnut hole!", will do that. So this new leaf just leaves (no pun intended) me trudging on. Making bracelets. Back to the Hazeldon quotes.

Today I have a baby in the house. Well, she is baby to me. A little over a year. One of my friends is taking her older kids to Carowinds. As my daughter put it, "So they get to go to Carowinds and we get the baby. Man, I was robbed." Speaking for myself, I would rather have the baby. Being as Mr. Wonderful and I are done having offspring, keeping other's babies scratches that itch. Then I don't bother Mr. Wonderful so much.

Last night I started with a Woman's Accountability group. I am very excited. It's a group of christian woman that help lift each other up, call each other on our junk, and walk together toward God. This is not a bible study. I walked out feeling so empowered with the Spirit, so very cool.

Low Point of the Day: Mr. Wonderful is Mr. Dork. I know he's just reacting to the "sunshine" I have been putting out, but I am really getting grumpy at him

High Point of the Day: Sunshine = layout I love to lay out!

2004-05-31 - 9:19 a.m.

**The language in todays blog may not (most definitely is not) be suitable for young viewers

I am nicotine's bitch...or whore, which ever term you use more frequently. (as if all my friends go around saying bitch and whore all the time) Things that normally roll off me like oil to water, are sticking and hanging on for dear life. Even now, two weeks down the road. I am just plain mean. I do fine in front of people, but get me alone with the kids or Mr. Wonderful and turret syndrom here we come. Sunday we had friends over. It was great. I was great while they were all here. But as everyone was leaving, I could see my family look out the window like puppies who wanted to be taken home. Please don't leave us here with her. We're potty trained, take us home with you. After everyone left, I came out with my Vincent Price/Dracula laugh...which would have been funny, if it wasn't so close to the truth. I have tried to be more kind today. But I am finding that what is happening, is it is just collecting on the inside. Like a crock-pot. Bubble. Bubble. Bubble. It's going to explode if I keep this up. But cussing like a sailor (not that all sailor's cuss, how did they get that pinned on them anyway?) isn't the answer either. So, how do I relax now? I think that is at the heart of all this. Bath's are nice, but I can't take 15-20 of them a day. I need something a little more practical. I tried getting the kids to rub my back. That just ended up in more profanity and pulling something in my ass. Yes, my ass.

I promise not to go on and on about this, but it is consuming me right now. Thinking about why I started smoking in the first place. I'm cool you know. I am so cool, I can smoke. It is so cool to die from lung cancer. We don't need to teach kids not to smoke, we need to teach kids how to feel comfortable being themselves. Staying true to one's self is the path man. I didn't start smoking until I was 19. 19! Statistics say I shouldn't have even started. But, I wasn't secure in me. All my friends smoked, so why not. Shoot, I am at the point now, I am just going to be "me" all over the place. I hate mowing the lawn. Why do we do it? We don't want to be the scourge of the neighborhood. Screw that, I want to be scourge. It all dies off in the winter anyway. No more mowing! The only day I wear make-up is Sunday. No more is the battle cry! I'll still brush my teeth though. That's just being civil. If I have to toot in public, I hold it in. No more of that either. I was recently reminded of a phrase of old. Love me, love my gas. That's me baby! You can open a window if need be.

Low Point of the Weekend: Hearing my daughter repeat the words..."what the hell", which she got directly from me. Guilt. Guilt. Guilt.

High Point of the Weekend: Having a bunch of friends over was such a nice break from my reality of late. Part of me was like...please don't go too.

2004-05-28 - 12:59 p.m.

I am having a "mommy" moment. My daughter took one of those little rights of passage this morning....she got her ears pierced. She has been saying for awhile this is what she wants to do. And of course she picked the most darling little pink studs. I'm gonna cry. OK, got a hold of myself.

Getting ready to clean my living room rug today. This is one of those chores that I never want to do, but it's really starting to smell, so it's time. I used to do it about once a month. Then I had two kids. I think it's been about a year since I have done it last. It's about a 6-8 hour task. I own a rug cleaner, but the bristles need replacing so you have to go over and over and over again. Can we say wee doggy?

I know, nothing really funny to add today. I think quitting smoking has taken away the funny gene and amped up the sarcasm gene. I mean the sarcasm is getting pretty nasty around here. Just keep praying I don't permanently dent my kids over quitting smoking.

Low Point of the Day: Pulled muscle seems to be more than that. Taking it easy as far as working out until it heals

High Point of the Day: A very tender Mommy/daughter moment....that will give me warm fuzzies all day.

2004-05-26 - 7:46 a.m.

So my kids have been dying to watch The Lord of The Rings. Well, the movies we have come to know and love are too much for their tender age. So when the cartoon version came to Cartoon Network, I was like "great" and taped it. I have noticed a few minor differences between the cartoon and the "good" movies. First of all acting. The voices in the cartoon make me want to snooze. But I guess when this one was made, people didn't "act" in cartoons. The orcs are reminicesnt of a bad Monty Python skit. They aren't really cartoon, but more like a picture cut out from a magazine, glued onto a stick. Everytime an orcs appeared I kept thinking about that cat that terrorized the streets in "And Now For Something Comepletely Different". (very funny Monty Python, a must see classic) Oh, another difference.....Aragorn is an indian in the cartoon. Those that know me, know my thing for Aragorn. (actually the whole Aragorn/Arwen romance. Definitely not the actor, because when he went blond in Hildalgo that made me barf). Aragorn was not an indian. No disrespect....Kay-O. Let's see, they gave Galadriel cleavage, they made Sam an idiot, and Aragorn and Gondor dude couldn't fight for anything. Or couse, that was the beauty of a cartoon...no bloodshed. They just kind of slashed each other and fell to the ground. The only thing I couldn't get the kids to understand was the actual storyline. With so many characters it was hard for them to keep up. And they just couldn't understand how Gandolf came back. Apparently my explanation of him taking a nap was not enough. The kids give it four thumbs up, they thought Sam was funny, and enjoyed the whole good vs. evil theme. Mr. Wonderful and I give a thumbs up for a get high and watch for a good laugh, thumbs down if you don't have kids and no reason to watch this.

And then there was Shrek 2. I don't know how many times I almost spit something out my nose. I don't want to build it up for fear one might be disappointed, but definitely a sequel worthy of viewing. Two words....Pinnochio and thong. I don't want to say much more, being as I actually saw a movie the first weekend it came out. But all in all, typical Shrek toilet humor, my family (go figure) was not disappointed.

A warm THANK YOU for all the anniversary wishes. It really was a delightful day. The cookout was nice. Shrek was hysterical. And we ended the day with our usual bet....double or nothing.

Low Point of the Day: Spent most the day yesterday in the car with no air conditioning and two very vocal children

High Point of the Day: Nic is back (so blogwonderful)! Danny left his email! Together again even though there is like a gazillion miles between us. (Danny will email ya soon:)

2004-05-24 - 12:12 p.m.

Enter the mushy music. Let the birds sing. Let's all skip and hold hands.....it's Mr. Wonderful's and my anniversary. Seven years to be exact. Still honetmooners compared to most the married couples we know. After the first three years....I just feel really blessed to make it to seven.

Most places I find tell me this is the year for copper and wool.....so I guess taking a bath together wouldn't be a good idea. Well, OK, copper pipes.....wool bathrobe? Nope, ouch! The modern calendar says desk set. Well, we're on a budget so he'll have to settle for a pen. He is always complaining because I steal his anyway.

The suggested flower is the jack-in-the-pulpit. OK. What the heck is that? Does it have a preacher that jumps out at you? Do you wind it up? I need a low maintenence flower, hopefully Mr. Wonderful knows that by now.

Let's see, the precious stones recommended are Lapis Lazuli and Onyx . OK, the only person I know with that kind of jewelry is my mother. While pretty, they are awfully big pieces. I don't have the pizazz to carry those off.

So that leaves us with a card. I can do cards. I love cards. Mr. Wonderful already got me card. Good choice:)

Low Point of the Day: I have pulled a muscle and it hurts!!!

High Point of the Day: Since we ditched the kids the other weekend, we decided to have family time tonight. Having a cookout, then going to see Shrek 2......please let Donkey's mouth be subdued.

2004-05-22 - 8:34 a.m.

To the cat who is too fat to fit in the litterbox: Hence, his poop landing on the outside. Let me remind you that I feed you. Anger me, and you won't eat. I control the water too. Don't test me on this.

To the cat who insists on peeing in the sink: You are a dumb butt. You have always been a dumb butt. You will always be a dumb butt. I feed you too. Don't forget that.

To the cat who enjoys sleeping on my head: I am cranky enough already. When I wake up because I cannot breathe, that does not get a good start to the day. You too, I also feed.

To the cat who suffers from insomnia: When the lights are out, that means sleep. It does not mean a) chase toes of everyone who turns over in their sleep b)bat the ball around on the kitchen floor so all can hear or c)purr in "mommy's" ear and lick on her face. You as well, I feed.

To the whole ungrateful lot of you: Everyday, I get up half asleep and pour food in your dish before I am coherent enough to talk. I make sure you have water. Fresh water, not from the toilet either. Everyday, I hold my nose and my stomach and scoop out your litterboxes. Having four of you, is like having a job at Burger King. I serve all day long and all I get in return is attitude and boastful glances. I suggest to the bunch of you to start showing some affection. Ever see those cute little kitties on the TV in the living room. Take some notes. Ever hear the phrase, "Don't bite the hand that feeds you." There's wisdom in that. I have had my fill. I am saying when. Shape up or I am shipping you out to the backyard.......where the dog is.

To my wonderful dog: There is a reason they call you man's (and mommy's) best friend. Rock on Dog.

Low Point of the Day: I went to Sheetz, a gas station I liken to WalMart. Between the two corporations they could take over the world. I hated that they had the lowest gas price. I hated that their sub was the tastiest thing I have had in awhile. Now I'll have to go back.

High Point of the Day: Still smoke free. Thank you God for carrying me through this!

2004-05-21 - 9:18 a.m.

Every now and then I get an email that really moves me. This was one of them. Yes, it's long, but definitely worth reading. I really wanted to share this with everyone, because it's something that needs to be talked about. So many times I have shared my pro-life view to be persecuted. Sometimes I understand why the anger is there. Other times I don't. Of course with saying that, no, not everyone will come back at me with an angry response. This is the story of one woman's experience and it needs to get out there. The writer asked that I include their email address and to let you know that you are welcome to email them directly. Without further ado...

Dear friends and family,

This is not your typical Jesus-loves-you, I-love-you, have-a-great-day type of e-mail. This is not a "my friend told me that her friend's daughter's acquaintance's great-aunt said such-and-such" letter. This is my personal experience of participating in a pro-life counter-protest to the "March for Women's Lives" (read: pro-choice/pro-abortion). I have never personally participated in a protest before, but this experience was a revelation. Since the local papers won't print any letters longer than a few short sentences (except from the local Planned Parenthood employees), I felt that this might be a better way to get the word out. If you feel you don't have time to read a long letter (and I apologize, for this became somewhat long), please at least read these facts below, and then decide if you have the time:

1. Since abortion was legalized in this country (1973), approximately 42 million children have been killed. That is roughly one third of those conceived in that time frame-your birth odds get worse if you are at or near poverty level and/or a minority. To put this in another perspective: daily, more unborn children are legally murdered here in the U.S. than the total number of people who died in NYC and the Pentagon on 9-11-01.

2. According to proponents, abortion should have freed women to be more successful in the workplace, decreased domestic violence, decreased child abuse, etc. Instead we have seen an increase in domestic violence and child abuse and a mushrooming problem of abandoned women and single mothers on welfare.

3. Planned Parenthood (PP) targets, and has always targeted, minority communities, especially blacks. Their own statistics will tell you that almost every woman they "help" feels abandoned, hopeless, and pressured to have an abortion by her boyfriend, parents, friends, employer, etc. There may be as many blacks dead from abortion in this country as there are blacks alive in the U.S. today. A group called Black Genocide is seeking to spread these facts. Read Margaret Sanger, the founder of the organization that became Planned Parenthood; she was an advocate of selective sterilization, eugenics, socialism/communism, and a host of other things that PP says they don't agree with. but they still hand out awards in her name.

4. Planned Parenthood is aggressively international and opportunistic in their aims to push the abortion agenda worldwide. They went into refugee camps during the Afghanistan war to offer abortions; many women came, looking for food, vaccines, and medical care for their children and themselves. Unfortunately, PP was only prepared to do and offer contraceptives. Only a handful of women wanted abortions. The rest of the Afghan refugees were rather disgusted-as we all should be. After 9-11, the PP clinics in New York City offered free abortions for a short time, claiming it would help people cope with the deaths of friends and loved ones. That's funny, didn't Marianne Pearl rejoice in the birth of her child as the most important and beautiful reminder of her murdered husband, Daniel?

5. The doctor who claimed 10,000 women had died from illegal abortions during the Roe v Wade timeframe recently admitted he made the number up to convince public opinion-it was probably closer to 100. By the way, he saw an ultrasound recording of an abortion and could only exclaim, "My God, what have I done?" (Dr. Bernard Nathanson, co-founder of another dubious organization, the National Abortion Rights Action League, now an outspoken pro-life activist.).

6. Planned Parenthood has repeatedly fought any form of parental consent or government regulation, including basic medical oversight. If this is about women's health, shouldn't they welcome medical standards and oversight? They are in legal trouble in several states for failure to report incest and statutory rape. Dozens of women have died from botched legal abortions and hundreds more have been forced to have hysterectomies due to complications. Post-abortion women are at dramatically higher risk for self-abusive behavior, miscarriages, breast cancer, child-rearing problems, depression, and suicide.

If this doesn't worry you, go ahead and delete it. Keep telling yourself that it isn't your problem. Before you delete it, however, look at my children's picture and tell them they have no rights, they have no voice, and they deserved to die, because as black fetuses in less-than-ideal circumstances, Planned Parenthood and other pro-abortion groups were stalking them. They had less than a 50-50 chance of having the opportunity to show these wonderful smiles-but they beat the odds due to the courage of birthmothers who did not fall to the pressure to "deal with the problem" quietly. How many smiles will never see the light of day? Khita and her new baby brother, Martin. If these facts worry you, please keep reading about what I saw in Washington, D.C.

This past weekend (April 23-25, 2004), my husband Josh, Khita, and I participated in a peaceful counter-demonstration against the "March for Women's Lives" in Washington, D.C. You may have seen it briefly on CNN or read about it in the paper, but the story they told is not what I saw. If you watched CNN or checked out the photos on Planned Parenthood's website, you saw a lot of happy, cheering women, presumably marching to promote legal abortion as the safe and wonderful solution to back alley abortions, ruined educations, and unhappy women forced into motherhood. You saw various Hollywood celebrities getting up to talk and to lead the march. Everyone looked very much like the neighborhood teenager, soccer mom, or your favorite teacher from grade school. They carried signs proclaiming that they were feminists, grandmothers, mothers, cheerleaders, Jews, Christians, Catholics, Women of Color, "for choice." How nice. How peaceful. How very Bill of Rights/free assembly/free speech/democratic of them. How liberated and empowered.

Furthermore, CNN ran a piece on Saturday commenting that anti-abortion activists had staged protests at three women's clinics in the D.C. area, blocking access and showing graphic photos. Oh, my, there had been an arrest! They went on to interview a passerby who stated that she was "pro-choice," hated having to walk through the protest, and didn't believe that the photos were really of aborted babies, that, "who knows what the situation was behind those photos?"

But now for the real story...

Saturday first. We were at the Planned Parenthood clinic that CNN was primarily commenting on. Operation Witness was at that clinic and two others (one of which shut down for the day to avoid the demonstrators). Before we went, we were instructed not to block sidewalks because that is illegal, but to be free to respond, pray, or just stand as witnesses because we had every right to be there, and to be sure to thank the police for being there to prevent trouble and to pray for them, too. When we arrived, there were several other groups also protesting at that particular PP clinic, including one with a truck covered in photos of dismembered babies (after the abortion, the nurse has to put the arms, legs, torso, and head back together to make sure they got everything, otherwise the mother could have severe complications from the leftover decaying parts in her womb, including death from septic shock). One group stood around the corner and prayed the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary (contemplating Jesus' Passion and Death for our sins). Some of us knelt along the edge of the sidewalks as people on bullhorns led other prayers. While we were kneeling, a woman went past. A member of our group called out to her, "You don't have to do this! Thirteen years ago, that was my baby in there, and I am still in pain!" Another woman went by with her hands covering her face, led by one of the "pro-choice escorts" from the clinic; she was sobbing, "Don't let me see it, I can't see it, don't let me see it." The escort assured her that she didn't have to look at our pictures of eight-week-old fetuses with their hands, toes, and eyes. The woman was black, and I couldn't help but think that that could have been Khita's mother and if that woman had only opened her eyes, maybe she would have seen my beautiful daughter and turned around.

We stood along the front fence for a while, letting Khita play and generally be her happy, adorable self, then joined a priest from our group around the corner to pray the rosary. While we were praying, Khita got bored and started picking up gravel from the edge of a courtyard and piling it on top of her diaper bag and then feeding it to her doll. I was starting to get rather annoyed with the mess she was making and tried to stop her several times. Suddenly, something hit me. For those of you who have seen The Passion of the Christ, you may remember the scene at the crucifixion where Mary, Jesus' mother, while kneeling, grips handfuls of gravel and dirt. As she stands up, gazing at her tortured and dying son, she numbly drops the rocks again. Although it seemed to fit, I did not understand the exact meaning of the gesture. In an interview with Maia Morgenstern (the Romanian Jewish actress who plays Mary), she explained that it is a Palestinian (the region, not the people)mourning custom; women who are losing their children will throw gravel over their heads in their extreme grief. And here was my daughter, in her toddler innocence, pouring gravel over a diaper bag outside a building where who knows how many babies would die that day. In her beautiful child-like innocence, she had no idea that some children that would be as cute as her were being marched silently to their deaths-yet this imagery struck me greatly. God speaks to us in many ways.

While we were there, a man from one of the other pro-life groups was arrested for displaying a fetus in a jar to show people that we are not talking about a blob of tissue, we are talking about a baby. From what we heard later, the child had died from a miscarriage at 24 weeks and had been given to this man by a doctor for the express purpose of showing it respectfully during demonstrations. The justification for his arrest? "Illegally displaying a dead body, a misdemeanor that carries a possible penalty of 90 days in jail or a $200 fine." (per the Washington Post) (Oh and they dragged the man away like he was a violent gang member with an assault weapon.) Now wait a minute, if it's a "dead body," then it was its own human entity and killing it would be murder. So why weren't the police arresting the murderers in the Planned Parenthood clinic? There was probably a lot more than one dead body in the medical waste containers in there.

That night, a group of the college-age kids from our group made themselves very visible at the gala kick-off for the Death March as all the "beautiful people" from Hollywood showed up to promote murder. The students were carrying a large sign that read, "I survived Roe. Roe will not survive me." (Roe vs. Wade was the 1973 Supreme Court judgment that, through an unprecedented act of judicial activism, made abortion legal essentially on the grounds of privacy between a woman and her doctor. It completely sidestepped the discussion of whether or not the fetus was human. By the way, Roe (Norma McCorvey) is now seeking overturn of the decision based on the fact that she was lied to and manipulated; she is an outspoken pro-life Christian activist now. The lawyer that lied to her (Sarah Weddington) was an honored speaker at the Death March. [Don't believe me-read the case opinions and similar cases on abortion and contraception at http://www.roevwade.org/courthtml]

That night, back at the hotel, we had some more speakers, mass for the Roman Catholics, a praise-and-worship session, and Adoration of Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament as preparation for the day ahead.

The next day was Sunday, the day of the "March for Women's Lives." Before taking our places along the march route (Operation Witness had a counter-protest permit for a square near the march route and eight blocks lining the route),we gathered in Freedom Plaza for more encouragement, singing, a Protestant communion service, and last-minute reminders. The group included the CEC (Charismatic Episcopalians) archbishop of D.C., several Roman Catholic and Episcopalian priests and other clergy and ministers, women who had had abortions and others who lost family members to it (all dressed in (black),college-age kids, families with kids, and about one hundred people from Black Genocide Project (they were from a church in the local area and two of their preachers had come as well; apparently they preached non-stop as the Death March was going by and were quite something to hear!). The last-minute reminders included an admonition for all of the men to look after the women and children, to be as polite as possible to the police officers who would be stationed along the barricades for security (normally, the dangerous wackos are the counter-protesters), and to back off from any physical confrontations and alert the nearest policeman.

Since we were a little more than half-way down the parade route, we had some waiting before the front end of the march finally appeared. We were in the block of families with small children. The father of the family next to us had a large sign showing an in-utero photo of an eight-week-old baby. At eight weeks, the baby has a heartbeat and brainwaves, the beginnings of toes and fingers, a clearly human profile, and responds to touch-likely indicating they feel pain. We talked to those around us and Khita played with the other kids. There was already a pro-abortion group chanting across the street, and we kept a close eye on Khita to see if she was getting upset (fortunately, she ended up sleeping through most of the March and didn't seem very bothered by it, although she did yell back at some people because they were yelling).

After a while, the word came that the front of the march was approaching. Now, CNN would tell you that all the pretty people from Hollywood led the march. Yeah, right. Apparently they only marched long enough to get their pictures taken. By the time WE saw the front of the march, it was just a hodge-podge mob of people moving down the street. The first banner we saw was from Socialists for Choice, and it went downhill from there. As they started passing us, all these smiling women flipped everyone "the bird," frequently while spitting out "F*** you." Apparently, they had been well brain-washed, because all of them (estimates range from 250,000 to 500,000, even though the organizers kept insisting they had more than a million) only knew about seven cheers:

1. "What do we want? Choice! When do we want it? Now!" Apparently unaware that abortion has, unfortunately, been legal in the U.S. for more than thirty years.

2. "My body, my choice!" Repeated ad nauseum; apparently they failed high school biology, since the fetus doesn't have the same DNA, blood supply, etc. as the mother and is therefore NOT part of her body.

3. "Hey, hey! Ho, ho! George Bush has got to go!" I thought this was about keeping politics out of abortion?The organizers said it was going to be non-partisan, but who (besides CNN) were they kidding?

4. "Not the church, not the state, women will decide their fate!" Murder, last I checked, is illegal, regardless of your denominational preferences.

5. "Pro-life, that's a lie, you don't care if women die!" Oblivious to the fact that abortion has killed about 20 million female babies in the U.S. alone and harmed their millions of mothers physically and psychologically.

6. "This is what democracy looks like!" A mob of angry people advocating murder for their own convenience and trying to cow the government into giving them what they want? Yes, that IS what the French Revolution and some other democracies have looked like; that's why the U.S. is a federal republic. Apparently, they failed high school government class, too.

7. And then there was the best one for just yelling to drown out anyone else's opinion: "PRO-CHOICE! PRO-CHOICE! PRO-CHOICE!" Murder is not "choice." It isn't the baby's choice to die. Plus if the one making the choice feels they have no choice and those advocating "choice" only offer one option-how Pro-Choice are we really talking here?

It quickly became obvious that this was not really a "pro-choice" rally, it was anti-war, anti-Bush, anti-establishment, and, oh-by-the-way, pro-abortion. Yes, there were some normal-looking people and some women with kids in strollers(and PP apparently made sure that every single kid got into the pictures posted on their website), but they were vastly outnumbered by the obnoxious and/or just-plain-weird people (who were notably absent from PP's website photos). Some news reports commented that after a year and a half of planning, they couldn't get the numbers they wanted, so they invited all the other far-left-wing organizations. We saw lots of war protesters. Many people were wearing "Elect Kerry" stickers [a man who, as a Catholic, should be against abortion, but would rather risk mortal sin that would separate him from God than to lose power and votes]. There was a group of socialists, a group of anarchists (are anarchists allowed to organize? Isn't that a contradiction in terms?), and a group dressed totally in black leather with a homemade sign that said, "Babies taste good." There was a group of topless women with Planned Parenthood stickers in strategic spots (the policemen said they were legal, but barely ), and a number of groups wearing shirts and carrying banners saying "Sluts for Choice" and "Be nice to sex workers." Towards the end was a group of guys in drag. And don't forget the guy in full Viking get-up with the "savages against Bush" sign. Or how about the rainbow waving gays and lesbians (who, by definition, aren't going to have to worry about pregnancy). So far, they've got the anarchists, socialists, cannibals, sluts, prostitutes, gays, and cross-dressers on their side. This lewd, loud, and disorganized mob looked more like a Mardi-Gras party on Bourbon St, not an organized political rally. If I were pro-abortion, I would have been embarrassed by this mob making such a mockery of a serious issue.

The vast majority of the signs were printed by the National Organization for Women (NOW, which, by the way, kicked out all of its pro-life members) or Planned Parenthood (the provider of the majority of abortions in this country to the tune of hundreds of millions of dollars). Again, there wasn't a lot of variety to the signs (just like the chants):

1."End Racism" and "Women of Color Taking Steps." Planned Parenthood targets minority communities, particularly blacks. We couldn't figure out how they thought these comments described the pro-abortion side. There should be twice as many women of color taking steps-except they're dead from abortion!

2."Pro-choice is pro-life." Huh? I guess this is in with the theory that killing unwanted children will make the quality of life better for the "wanted" children. Too bad the statistics over the last thirty years show the exact opposite effect.

3."The youth are pro-choice." One-third of "the youth" are dead because of abortion; I think it's a safe bet to guess they're on the pro-life side now. Besides, again, the statistics don't support their rhetoric; young people are significantly more likely to be pro-life than their parents and the pro-abortion side is losing ground.

4."Keep your laws off my uterus/body." I wonder if they want ALL laws off their bodies, including the ones protecting them from murder, abuse, rape, medical malpractice, etc...?

5."Fight corporate greed; save women's health." I assume this was a complaint about the fact that many health insurers cover neither contraceptives nor abortions. We responded, however, by pointing out that they should start with PP, which is making millions of dollars a year on abortions. I wonder how much pocket change they spend towards truly improving women's lives? I've never seen PP doing infertility counseling, adoption services, domestic abuse intervention, etc., have you?

6. "Abortion is a quick, clean, easy way out. for men." As you might guess, this sign was on the pro-life side. Abandonment or threat of it is probably a factor in almost every abortion; aside from cases of rape, I have never heard or read a post-abortion testimony that didn't include it. The sad thing is, women have been so duped that they're fighting to remove any responsibility from the fathers, leaving the woman with all of the responsibility. "Your body, your choice, your problem!" If a father can't save his child from an abortion (and some have sued and failed), why should he be forced to pay child support for a baby he wanted aborted? The conclusion is only logical.

The most eye-opening part of the march, however, was how the people themselves reacted to us. People threw condoms at us (remember, we were in the block with little kids). (That would be the problem, wouldn't it? Irresponsible sex, fueled by condoms, the pill, and PP's sex-ed in public schools, results in unwanted pregnancies, since contraception isn't 100% foolproof. It has resulted in widespread abortion and moral decay as was predicted several generations ago.)Usually, the best response the marchers could come up with to anything we said was "F*** you." A few accused us of oversimplifying the problem, but wouldn't stop to tell us what they thought we were oversimplifying. No matter what, though, they couldn't take their eyes off of us. We were a tiny little line of people on either side of the street and all those thousands of people just couldn't ignore us.

1.A woman walked up to Josh and condescendingly sneered, "Tsk, tsk. Such anger!" Um, lady, did you notice the people you were marching with?!? And all he was doing was holding a sign of a smiling baby that said, "The future is in our hands."

2.A woman carrying a gay pride flag walked down the side of the street spitting at the pro-life people.

3.A man on stilts with an accordion stood in front of a pro-lifer with a megaphone to drown out what she was saying. Did he think he was at Mardi Gras or Carnival, perhaps? (I guess that would explain the topless women.) Many groups just screamed or beat 5-gallon buckets with sticks to drown us out. (PP handed out inflatable tubes to slap together to make noise, too.) Apparently they were scared to death that they might be wrong and we might have something to say.

4.Several people were working the sides of the streets yelling in people's faces, "YOU don't have a uterus!" They never seemed to want to look me in the eyes. I yelled after them, "Hey, I have a uterus! Do you want to come back and talk to me?" Needless to say, none of them did, although one wrote me off by saying, "You haven't been pregnant." Yes, my daughter was obviously adopted (Josh and I are white and she is black), but that says nothing about whether I've ever been pregnant or not. (Even more amusing was a couple of men carrying signs saying this. Is anyone even thinking through the rhetoric they're yelling?)

5.More people were working the sides of the streets screaming, "Why don't you adopt?!" They yelled this at everyone. Including my family, which, as I noted, is pretty blatantly the result of adoption. More people who failed high school biology, apparently. To give credit, we did have one person (out of a few hundred thousand) stop and thank us for adopting, particularly trans-racially, but then she still tried to rationalize that abortion was needed because not every minority child was likely to be adopted. We agreed that more needed to be done to encourage adoption. Unfortuneately we couldn't convince her that killing the ones who might not find homes isn't the solution.

6.Some old guy was going down the side of the street sneering, "You were all paid to be here!" Well, I guess it made him feel better or something.

7.Another guy, wearing red shorts, a bright green sport coat, a beat up hat, dirty sneakers, a huge tattoo on his calf, and looking like he hadn't shaved or washed in days was working the fence telling us all, "You're ugly!" Another highly intelligent argument.

8.A woman was marching with her daughter, who looked to be about eight years old. She was screaming at the pro-lifers, "I HATE YOU!" so loudly that her face was wrenched up. She reminded me very much of the psychotic little girl in Schindler's List standing on the train station platform screaming, "GOODBYE, JEWS!" as they were herded onto trains for the death camps. Her mom looked proud, but that girl didn't look too liberated to me.

9.One woman in the march was obviously pregnant and had written on her shirt, "I'm marching today and tomorrow I'm getting an abortion!"

10. There was a group of Reform Jewish students there wearing shirts quoting Micah (sort of): "Love justice, do mercy, walk humbly," but the last phrase was scratched out and had written in under it instead "march boldly." I honestly do not understand how a group could stand there and say their Holocaust was horrible and it should never happen again, but this one should be encouraged. (Same pattern in both: you make the victim less than human, you convince people it's in their best interest, you keep them hidden away, and then you can kill at will and nobody will care.)

11. One of the most popular t-shirts simply said, "This is what a feminist looks like." Every time someone went by in one of those, I told them, "The early feminist Mothers were all pro-life! Have you read them?" A lot of people looked back at me as they passed with that comment; maybe it shocked them that someone on the pro-life side even knew who the early feminists were. (Feminists for Life is the group that was kicked out of NOW for being faithful to the feminist vision; they are not at all like the anti-male-but-trying-to-look-like-one people who run NOW. They have a great pro-life print campaign featuring Patricia Heaton (from the sitcom "Everybody Loves Raymond") centered on the idea that women deserve better than abortion. They have an interesting website, including discussions about what Susan B. Anthony, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, and others had to say about abortion.)

12. Towards the end of the parade was a group dancing around and carrying huge Mardi Gras-style puppets, about ten feet tall, mocking the president and others. I have no idea what THAT was all about; more anti-war protests, we guessed.

13. Several people mocked us for being so outnumbered. Well, like Randall Terry pointed out in the pre-march talk, "Hitler had big crowds, too. That didn't help him in 1945."

14. A few shouted at Randall that he is a crook. Yes, he was convicted of numerous heinous crimes for peaceful civil disobedience in blocking clinics in the 80's, and NOW's well-paid lawyers took everything he owned. but he's still out there fighting this war. One might note that another former arrested protester has his own federal holiday: Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr., who used similar means to fight racism. Ironically, PP seems very proud of the fact that Margaret Sanger (PP's founder) was arrested several times for illegally distributing condoms in the 1920's. Double standard?

15. In reply to being told that 42 million children were dead from abortion, one woman replied, "They were probably better off dead." Isn't that the logic Hitler used to kill anyone who was physically or socially "aberrant"? Margaret Sanger's thinking sure followed those lines.

16. Several people looked at the photo of the eight-week-old fetus and yelled, "That's not true!" or held up their pinched fingers to indicate that it didn't count because the baby was only an inch or so long at that point. Towards the end of the march, however, one man looked at the poster and said, "Wow, it looks like that at eight weeks? Cool." And you could see he was reading all of our signs after that. There's nothing like seeing the truth first hand!

Ok, I was pretty sure there were going to be a few extremists and nutcases in the Death March, but I honestly expected them to have some better arguments. At least one would think they should have some sort of sense of how stupid some of them were making them all look or that they'd at least treat this seriously and not like a party. I guess you don't have to worry about that when you know CNN will edit it all out in your favor. Several times, Josh and I looked at each other and said, "They're joking, right? I mean, they can't be THAT stupid or desperate, can they?"

When it was all over, we headed back to Freedom Plaza, east of the White House, for a concluding prayer and talk. There, we found out that several of the large photo posters had been stolen and shredded, the contingent of clergy had been spit at and generally singled out for abuse, and the teenagers, who had kneeled on the sidewalk to pray, had been consistently pelted with trash. So much for pro-lifers' First Amendment rights and the "peaceful" Death March.

Randall Terry, the leader of Operation Witness, got up to talk. One thing that he said that stuck with me was, "They've been planning for a year and a half, spending many thousands of dollars to pull this together and bring people up here and THIS was the BEST they could come up with on a nice spring day in D.C." The pro-life marches on the Roe vs. Wade anniversary (which is in January, and the weather is usually pretty bitter) are usually three to four hours long, he went on to say, and much denser and more organized than the Death March was, and these pro-life marches occur EVERY year on the anniversary of this travesty. Oh and the marchers are generally a "wild" bunch of college students, nuns, families with small children, clergy, etc-not disorganized, half naked, sign ripping, spitting, cursing, hate-filled mobs chanting canned rhetoric. He asked several people to come up and talk about what their impressions were. They talked about their surprise at the sheer hatred emanating from the marchers, the fact that they couldn't stop staring at us (especially the children), etc. One young woman got up wearing a white t-shirt that had a dotted line around her womb and a big arrow with the words "THIS woman has rights, too!" She had been web-surfing and found out about the march just that morning and came down to stand with us along with her 12-week-old baby in-utero.

All in all, it was a very long, tiring weekend, very emotionally draining and uplifting all at the same time. So why did we do it? We were watching the coverage of the Roe vs. Wade anniversary march this past January on EWTN and heard about this counter-protest being planned. We have been pro-life ever since we gave much thought to it. We donate money once in a while to Priests for Life, Birthright, and similar kinds of organizations, but we had never felt compelled to DO something. Suffering through infertility, we eventually chose to offer that suffering up as a prayer to end abortion and to build a family through adoption. (We found out Saturday night, while we were in D.C. that Martin was finally coming home!) We hadn't ever attended a pro-life event or even given much thought to doing so until we were watching the pro-life march on TV that day last January. We looked at our precious daughter, Bakhita; statistically speaking, as a black, unplanned, out of wedlock pregnancy, she ought to be dead. Nobody deserves that. Watching the sobbing women coming and going from the abortion clinic on the Saturday before the march just drove it home: these mothers deserve so much better, too. We could not just sit and let this go unchallenged.

Operation Witness has commissioned a statue called "The Reconciliation." It depicts a kneeling mother holding out her arms to Jesus, begging forgiveness. With one hand, He is reaching out to her, and in the other arm, he holds her aborted child. The child is reaching out to the mother with both hands, too. Statues will be placed later this year in D.C. and other locations as a memorial to the unborn dead as well as a place for mothers grieving over their abortions to go pray for forgiveness from God and their children, now in heaven.

We need to speak the truth in love. We need to let people know that there is forgiveness and healing and better options than abortion. Withholding the truth because it is embarrassing, politically incorrect, or unpopular is not love. Advocating abortion (or allowing politicians to do so) through some false notion of "choice" is only hiding the underlying problems and storing up much worse societal problems for our children.

So what can you do? Plenty!

1.Pray. Pray for everyone in the pro-life movement. Especially pray for all mothers in difficult situations who may be tempted to kill their children. Pray for the fathers and the families that they may be supportive instead of pushing abortion as the easy way out. Pray for those who, years later, are still recovering from their abortions. Pray for more people to adopt. Pray for guidance for ways you can get more involved. (and then listen!)

2.Be a voice for life. We've all heard discussions at the office, at church, with friends. You may be the only voice for life, so don't be afraid to speak out. Be ready to help women find counseling and help for themselves and their babies; there are plenty of organizations out there that just want to help these mothers have their babies safely and make good decisions for themselves and their children.

3.Donate time or money. Support pro-life groups, crisis pregnancy centers, adoption agencies, Project Rachel (post-abortion healing ministry), etc. Making abortion illegal again is only part of the solution; we need to help eliminate the poverty, abuse, poor choices, and lack of community support that drives these women into the abortion mills and we need to help heal those hurt by the lie that their abortion would be a "quick fix." We need to teach responsible sex (in marriage), not distribute condoms and pills (which merely enables this problem-not unlike throwing gasoline on the fire!).

4.Get involved personally. (Ladies, this especially means YOU!) Write your congressman, visit his local office and tell them what you think, get involved in marches or counter-protests, write the paper (not many people do; our local paper has printed at least half of the letters we've sent), talk to groups you belong to (especially women's and youth groups at churches and in your communities). Most people don't get too involved in politics or movements; it only takes a few to get attention (We were less than 1/100th the size of the Death March, but the counter-protest may have had as much as 20% of the coverage, including five minutes of Randall Terry live on CNN). While genocide is everybody's business, NOW and Planned Parenthood have tried to make it only a woman's business. They sneer that all the women are on their side; GET OUT THERE AND PROVE THEM WRONG!!! You could see it in their faces; most of the marchers just dismissed Josh. but they hesitated a bit when they saw me, a woman, on the pro-life side.

5.Vote with conviction. Don't let those who favor the killing to come to office at the local, state, or national level. Don't be swayed by the remarks that you're a single-issue voter; regardless of your views on war, taxes, or the price of tea in China, there is nothing more important than life, particularly the lives of these most innocent children. There is no other single issue in this country killing almost 4,000 people a day.

This is my personal experience and testimony. Nobody in Operation Witness asked or authorized me to write about it. I used to be in the, "I care, but I'm too busy to get really involved" camp, too. But now I am the mother of two beautiful children because their birthmothers made a brave choice for life; I can not sit on the sidelines and say this isn't my fight, too. One third of my generation is dead; people who should have been doctors, scientists, priests and pastors, a wife for your nephew that never married, even the school bully who could've inspired someone to go into psychiatry to help delinquent children. I'm not saying they would've all been saints or heroes, but how many more have to die before we realize it is about ALL of us? When we cheapen life at the beginning, we cheapen all life. Euthanasia, assisted suicide, and other attacks on life are already becoming legal realities. If we as a society are willing to kill the most precious and innocent of us, is anyone truly safe?

This is not a chain letter, but please forward it and get the word out to everyone you know. Thank you for taking the time to read it; again, I apologize that it was so long, but I wanted to tell the full story. Please address any questions or comments to my e-mail.

Kathy Tribble

Tribble_family@msn.com

2004-05-20 - 8:06 a.m.

Day four: No Nicotine. I no longer have the mental faculties for computer gaming. Even Bingo has become complicated. I remember my mother talking about how she wished they had rehab for those quitting smoking. I cannot help but chuckle when I look at what my life has been the last couple days. My home has become a haven for Hazeldon quotes and beading. It IS a rehab. I have made 3 bracelets in the last 24 hours. As I bead I find myself repeating over and over. "Deep cleansing breath in.....blow the bad out". Then SNL's Staurt Smiley will come in and say, "Your good enough your smart enough, and dog gone it, people like you." Please, people haven't liked me since Sunday. They may love me, but from a distance. Waiting for the hump. In the meantime...let me know what your favorite colors are, I'll make you an anklet. Lord knows I can only fit so many on my leg at a time. Hehe I've tried, told you it's like rehab.

This pink is already getting on my nerves. Don't be surprised to see it changed again today. The only problem is....every other color gets on my nerves too. Trying real hard to change my outlook today. It's just hard when every color in the rainbow fills you with angst. This to shall pass (there goes the Hazeldon quotes again).

Low Point of the Day: Teaching water aerobics this morning. The senior's love to tease me, and I have to play nice. This should be interesting.

High Point of the Day: I am one day closer to getting pass all of this crap and being healthier!!

2004-05-19 - 11:31 a.m.

I am a creature of habit. I run on ritual, if you will. Every morning I get up. I read in my bible. I get on the computer. I go to my message boards. I check my friends blogs. I play Mahjong to the cows come home or it is time to go exercise. [side note: Mr. Wonderful wants all to know that Mahjong is NOT a computer game, but an ancient chinese game that happens to be on the computer.....men] Well, having problems getting back into routine. Bible, check. Message boards, check. Friend's blog......friend's blog....no check. She is on her honeymoon and more power to her for leaving the computer home. Meanwhile the addictive personalities in her life suffer. I have tried to fill the void by checking out her friend's site's. Not the same. So I have pretty much decided to fill her email with all the spam I get until she gets home. Yeah, that will do.

Speaking of friends and blogs. My friend Lisa just started her own blog and is off to a great start. Check it out.

Well......I have quit smoking again. Day three. Kids are still alive and the homicidal tendencies are easing up. I really want it to work this go round. This has been my last hurdle in the get fit quest. Not to mention my son. He said to me last week, "Mommy I can't wait to be an adult so I can smoke.". Ouch! So here I am, again. Quitting, again. Cranky, again. Trying to figure out where to get rid of all this nervous energy, again.

Low Point of the Day: Nicorette patch sweated off in kickboxing.

High Point of the Day: Looking for a high point...so cranky, so grouchy....I am not much fun to be around right now. OK high point is...........I haven't dug around in the trash can for any cigarette butts. ** went pink, trying to be perky again

2004-05-16 - 4:23 p.m.

What a wonderful weekend! I am going to back track a bit from my mushy moment. Thursday Mr. Wonderful and I dropped the kids off at the first sitters. We were free at last, free at last, God Almighty we were free at last! That lasted all of about 6-8 hours. Then when it was time to tuck the kids in, we started missing the little boogers. Man, we hadn't even left yet. But somehow, we made it through. Thursday night I spent 3 hours putting together the perfect ensemble for the rehersal dinner. Girls, you know the process. Start with the dress, then shoes, finally jewelry. Of course...the shoe process takes awhile for me. By the time I was done with this it should have been bedtime. I was entirely too amped to sleep. At 11:00pm it dawns on me. Maybe Nicole doesn't want a dressy rehersal? So I emailed her, she emailed back whatever fits your shell. I ended up packing shorts.

Friday finally came. I woke up after about 3 hours of sleep, feeling not so good. Was very worried I was coming down with something, but persevered on. It's about a 3 hour drive to Johnson City. Most of which Mr. Wonderful and I quipped back and forth in our dorky way. I love our dorky way. Tailgated in his truck for lunch at Hardee's then off to a stretch I always dread.....321. It's a beautiful drive, but I have always had this mental picture of my car careening off the mountainside to it's firey doom. We lived. The hotel was beautiful. More than we should have paid, but so worth it. If I could have fit the bathtub in my bag, it would have turned up missing. 6:00pm it was off to rehersal dinner. We were told to be prompt, so when the bride was late they felt free to let her know...and know...and know. She took it well. Filled with laughter and fun. Making fun of the "flower boys" (or is that flower men, I'm not sure what is PC in this case). But, bless their hearts, last minute they were told the flower girl did not have enough petals and they would be adding to them. They also took it well. The dinner was sooooo good. I got to sit next to Beth (another bridesmaid) and get to know her more. We got to know Helen (Nic's step-mother) real well after Mr. Wonderful spilled his salad all over the back of her dress. Mr. Wonderful felt so bad. I was relieved. I knew something would happen and I was glad it was at rehersal.....and not me. Kind of took the pressure off.

Saturday arrived. After months of waiting it was here. I had my hair done, had my mushy moment online, and then it was time. I arrived for lots of photos. Followed by more photos. Then a few more photos. Then I waited with Nic and the other bridesmaids for awhile. Then, showtime. I say (and Mr. Wonderful agrees) aside from my own wedding, I have never been to one more beautiful. Everything went off without a hitch. All my fears were for nothing. No asthma attack, no passing out, and most importantly nothing fell out of my bra. Then it was party time! Spent most of the reception with another old friend (not old as in old, but as in time known)Danny. It was so great to just hang out again. The reception entertainment was Karyoke. Great choice. The bridal party kicked it off with Bow Wow's I Want Candy. Classic. I did my dedication to the bride and groom...Madonna's Like A Virgin. Another Classic. But best of all, I fulfilled a lifelong dream! Danny (usher), Nicole (bride) and myself used to hang out a lot when I lived in TN. We always talked about singing this one song together.......Yesterday, that dream came too. We finally got to sing, Love Shack! It was too cool. Another great moment in time locked in my memory. And then, as if all my dreams were coming true in one day, I got to sing a mushy love song to dh and shut the party down. Of course, at that point.....there were only like 10 of us left. But it was cool none the less. We went back to the hotel and crashed. It was only like 6:00pm, but that's a big full day for old people hehe. Not to mention, we still had my hair to disassemble. And I do mean disassemble. This was a half hour process of taking out little pony tail holders and what we counted as 28 bobby pins. A process it was. My folicles seemed to hurt when it was all over, but it was so worth it.

We traveled home this morning. Almost hit a goat. Yes a goat. We were in Tennessee. More dorky banter. Followed by the quiet lull as we returned to life as normal. As normal as we know it anyway. To all who prayed for safe travels, Thank You. This was definitely a memory I will cherish for life.

Low Point of the Weekend: It had to end.

High Point of the Weekend: Was done with my womanly matter by Saturday.......Rock On Mr. Wonderful!

**Do your monthly breast exams!!

2004-05-15 - 10:31 a.m.

I am sitting around waiting for a wedding to begin. My hair is done in a lovely tornado look. (It actually is quite stylish) I don't want to do my make-up yet, too soon. The clothes are ready, the jewelry is on. I'm just sittng and waiting....reflecting. I have known Nicole for over 10 years now. In that time we have shared life's up's and down's. Friendship's ebb's and flow's. And just plain growing up. The computer has made it much easier for us to keep in touch. Thanking God for technology. In about 4 hours, Nicole will be walking down the aisle and saying I do. Trying to fight back the tears just thining about it. Her betrothed is a wonderful man, who anyone would be a fool not to like. Watching them last night at rehersal and dinner, you can see the love. She has found something true. A jewel in this world full of rocks. I can sit here and type the words about how "happy I am for her". But words just simply cannot express right now what I feel. All I ever wanted for her was a life full of joy. And her groom will do everything in his power to deliver. What a gift.

So for the next half hour I will continue to sit and ponder...and play Mahjong (computer game). Trying not to over emote. Taking it all in. This is definitely one of life's more beautiful moments for me and I don't want to miss a single second.

2004-05-12 - 2:13 p.m.

I'm so excited....I just can't hide it. Hey, didn't a recent American Idoler sing that one? In a little over a day I will be in Johnson City, TN. This weekend I will be blessed to be a bridesmaid in the wedding of one of my closest, longest (as far as how long we have known each other, not that she is long)friends. OK, not to mention we are ditching the kids.

I have had enough snafu's in the last 24 hours...I hope they were enough to cover the whole wedding. I want everything to be as smooth as can be for Nicole. First off, we were supposed to leave tomorrow. Sparing the boring details of a long and drawn out story, which frankly I don't have the energy to type.....we are leaving Friday morning. While sad that I will miss being with Nicole on her birthday, it's better this way. Last night the girl who was supposed to take my kids Thursday night and drop them off at the in-laws Friday....came over. She is taking off to TN. She talked to so and so and they'll take care of me. Uhhhhh didn't I ask you about 2 months ago about this?????? OK, working through a little resentment there. It helps that everything has worked itself out and someone I know and trust will be taking the kids. So, in the end....all is cool and we leave early Friday morning. Must I say again.....yes I must. I'm so excited, I just can't hide it.

Today is Mr. Wonderful's birthday. Today he turns 38. While he says he is feeling older....it's still not getting him out of doing the dishes. But I won't make him do them today.

He seems to be enjoying the day. I'm sure he's happy anticipating birthday sex, that's a gimmie.

Low Point of the Day: I have boob issues. I am rather hefty on top, in spite of the weight loss. Well, strapless bras just aren' holding me up as well. After checking out the "boob isles" (that was my daughter)...thinking of trying to find some sticky boobs

High point of the Day: Wedding fever! Wedding excitement! Wedding! Wedding! Wedding!

2004-05-11 - 1:47 p.m.

I am concerned for my son. This morning he was going around asking everyone to give him a wedgie. Said he liked it, felt good. To each his own I guess.

I have a thing for shoes. I am no Marcos, but I likes my choices. I am getting worried about my daughter's and my relationship for the first time. My daughter has taken an interest in my shoes. Having gone on before about how selfish I can be, and how selfless motherhood can call us to be , I have to ask myself, "Can I share my shoes?". I am not sure I can. For mother's Day I got these flip flop's (or thongs for my northern friends....FYI a thong is underwear, a flip-flop is a shoe). They have big pink fake flowers on them. I love them. They are me. But my daughter loves them too. She loves them to the point of going into my closet and putting them on to wear. She has big feet, I have small feet, we are close to that place where she can where my shoes. I didn't like it. I know, I know, it's a right of passage for a young lady to raid her mother's closet and take everything unhip and make it "da bomb". Lord knows I did. Shoot, I grew up in the 80's, I raided dad's closet too, vests were in. But these are my shoes man. Something sacred to me. OK....next book on the reading list. The psyche of those obcessed with their shoes.

I was thinking this morning how clever and adept I have become at my "job". I have developed some suburban survival skills if you will. Things like opening a kids locked bedroom door with a credit card, grocery card, or whatever came in the mail that morning they were trying to sell me. I know when I can write a check at every local Walmart and how many days it will take to come back to the bank. Kester Mill Wally-2 days vs. Kernersville Wally 3-4 days. I know three different techniques for getting gum out pockets, toy boxes, and hair. I would love to see a new reality TV show named Surburan Survivor. Drop off the unsuspecting contestants in any of Mr. Rodger's neighboorhood's. Give them credit cards, but make sure they are all maxed out. Allow them only $500 a week to feed, clothe, and shelter a family of four. I suggest we allow President Bush to be our first contestant hehehe. Give them immunity challanges such as driving around town for 30 minutes non-stop, kids in the backseat, fighting the whole time. If they drive into a tree, they are out of the game. Or, time them. How many times can they say no in a five minute interval. Make one challenge like that supermarket sweep game. Have them run through Wally, kids in tow, with a dentist appointment in 20 minutes. Getting enough groceries to feed them all week long, because you don't have enough gas to come back. Or even better. Map out a route around town that uses the least amount of gas. Yes, I think this show would be a success. (**side note Mr. Wonderful does make more than that now...but that's most definitely how we started out)

Low Point of the Day: PMS'ing. Grrrrrr. Mr. Wonderful and I are due to get away for the weekend.....and I'm gonna start. Super GRRRRRRRR

High Point of the Day: Ran almost 2 miles this morning, had I not "run" out of time, I would have run 2 miles!

2004-05-10 - 7:01 a.m.

Infuriating Article

Every now and again I read something that gets under my skin. With this one I don't even know where to start. All I know is this person has no idea what he is writing about. Comparing homeschooling groups to terrorist cells. With that kind of logic, no wonder the homeschooling community has not "accepted" him.

There are a couple things that are really sad to me about this viewpoint. I am all for free speech, but using words such as terrorists, Stepford, homicade incites hatred. Some kid probably did run through his yard and he needed to vent about it. Also, the writer groups all homeschoolers into one category, religeous fanatics. Yes, I do teach about God in our school, but that is only one reason I choose this. I don't see staying home with my children as incarceration. It's a gift and I cherish every moment. In fact, anyone who knows us, will tell you after our school in the morning we go, go, go. And I wear pants! I love pants, shorts too. This might surprise the writer but I allow them to dance too. Hope we don't go to hell for that one.

The writer's beef with socialization made me laugh. How does sitting in a chair for 6 to 8 hours a day promote socialization? Everytime I talked in school, I was scolded and told to be quiet. How many friends in your adult life are your age? How does that, exactly, prepare you for life? It doesn't. I learned about life from my parents, not school. And what I didn't learn from my parents, I learned through my own experiences. The other issue that made me laugh was how a teacher was more qualified. Yes, they go to college. But how did they acquire all that college knowledge? Hey, that rhymes. They read books. Well, I read books. It would be ignorant of me not to. I read books on everything from child development to how we learn to origami. Hey, you never know when origami might come in handy. Also, do some research on our teachers in NC. Yes, there are some wonderful teachers out there. But it wasn't to long ago an article was written about how some couldn't pass a required test.

When I made my decision to homeschool I weighed the pros and cons. The cons of public school were exponential. There were some cons to homeschooling, but the pros outweighed them. Private school was not an option due to our economic status (thank you George).

Is homeschooling for everyone? Most definitely not. Will I homeschool for their whole school career? I don't know, I take it year by year. But who is this guy, who knows not much about homeschooling to tell me I'm wrong. I'm a robot. I'm homicidal. Do your research buddy, then write some more.

Low Point of the Day: Too much to do and not enough time to do it

High Point of the Day: Still basking in the joy of yesterday. My kids made it so special. I even got coupons for free room cleanings, and bed makings

2004-05-09 - 4:00 p.m.

Oh man! The new found empathy for mother's of three or more I cannot begin to express. When my first child came along, we had no clue. NO CLUE> We took her home and were like, "OK, what now". We thought having a child is a lot of work. And it is, but you have no idea until the second arrives what work is. It doesn't double you work, it triples it. Well, as previously mentioned, we had four stay over last night. Well their mom really needed a break. She was really spent. So as a happy mother's day I said, hang out here on my computer, enjoy yourself, I got the kids. I also had 3 more join us from 2:30pm - 7:00pm. That's 9...count them 9 kiddos under my little ranch roof at one time. Praise God for the yard.

I have learned a few things about multiple...I mean multiple children I thought I would pass on. First off, nothing can prepare you for the laundry. As a family of four, we create about a load a day. About once a week 2-3 loads, easy enough to keep up with. From towels from the sprinkler, to changing clothes multiple times (mostly the girls go figure)......I on my end (not counting the other kids clothes)racked up 5 loads today. Their mom said 3-4 loads a day minimum...MINIMUM people. No wonder she is spent. It's not like the washer and dryer can hold an adult conversation. I also noticed I did not have enough dishes. I have service for 8. For a family of 4 that's fine. Today.....I didn't have enough dishes to serve dinner. I got creative though. I found some old Barbie party plates. I had some ZooPals stashed somewhere else. I ran the dishwasher twice and still had to handwash some plates. Not to mention the added cookware someone needs. I made spago with sauce and green beans on the side. I only have two burners that work. I only had two pots big enough for the spago and sauce. I put the green beans in my Pampered Chef 2 quart oven safe bowl and stuck them in the oven. Hey, it worked. Now let's talk bruises. Now as a mother, I accumulate a fair share of bruises. Not a one of them can I tell you where they came from. While taking my bath last night and shaving my legs....I noticed bruises all up and down my legs. I still can't tell you where they come from, but these are deeper and sore!

What's the point of all this? Don't have more than two kids. No. But if you do know a mom with more than two. Stop whatever your doing (unless your driving, girls get enough of a bad rep on the road), give her a hug. Let her cry. Give her a look that says, "I get it". It's two seconds of your life, but that could be what gets her through another day.

God Bless every mother today!

HAPPY MOTHER"S DAY!

2004-05-08 - 8:51 a.m.

I love waiting on the phone line for the utilities company. Where else are you going to hear John Lennon's Yesterday, Pink Floyd Born to Fly, and ZZ Top (yes ZZ Top) Sharp Dressed Man all done in flute. I suppose hearing the flute is to mellow me out before talking to their operator who has no intention of listening to me. When they talk more than they listen, that is not a customer service representative. No. I didn't call to be sold anything. No. I don't want to hear about this extra service for an extra charge that I extra don't want. Shut up and listen lady. Didn't say that, just wanted to.

I am cooking eggs and bacon for a small army this morning. A friend of mine really needed a break so her four children spent the night. Mr. Wonderful was probably the first to fall asleep, but seeming as he has to get up at 4am to get to work...we'll excuse. I however, did not make it to bed until everyone else had fallen asleep. An earthquake could not have gotten me up at 4am. But at 7 am when I did arise...they were all already up. Logic says send a kid to bed 1 hour past his/her bedtime, they would wake up an hour later than normal. Kids are not logical. Which brings me back to making eggs and bacon.

Me: "What do you guys want for breakfast?" -stupid question, I knew what they were having, left it open for discussion, rookie mistake

Zeke: "I want doughnuts."

Me: "I don't have doughnuts, how bout eggs?"

Zeke: "How bout toast and jelly?"

Me:"How bout eggs?"

Zeke: "How bout cereal?"

Me:"How bout eggs?"

Zeke: "How bout eggs?"

Me:"Why yes, I would love to cook you eggs."

Nothing but love, respect and admiration for those with four or more children. It has taken me 30 minutes and counting just to put this little diatribe together. Having to do this in between the "He put water in the polly pocket pool!" and the "Moooommmm, the boys are in here while we're trying to get dressed!" Oh yeah, there is definitely a boy/girl thing going on. I forgot about those days when it was us against them. On the whole though, we are having fun. Getting ready to put on our bathing suits and sprinkle. Life is good.

Low Point of the Day; At breakfast we were dolling out super heroes. Thought for sure my daughter would let me be Wonder Woman.........I'm Naked Mole Rat.

High Point of the Day: My yard is made for kids. Since Mr. Wonderful mowed it, we can spend all day outside....and keep the inside clean. (Good in theory at least)

2004-05-05 - 11:50 a.m.

New month new page.....and hopefully a little easier on the eyes. (As always previous gets you to last month. Why do I always state this? Because even though I do state this....I still get emails from someone trying to play catch up wanting to know how to get to the previous month)

My dog won't eat. My dog won't sleep. He's keeping half the neighborhood up at night barking. Why? The neighbor's dog is in heat. It would actually be one funny looking puppy. Part Beagle, part Doberman....that's if he could reach. It's pretty pathetic really. Trying to dig under the fence. Trying to sniff her butt constantly. And we compare men to dogs why? Mr. Wonderful won't eat....just kidding. If he barks again tonight I'm going to have to bring him in. My neighbors have shot guns.

I spent most of the afternoon doing the type of cleaning that nobody notices, unless it's not done. For example, wiping down the freezer. I was getting myself a Diet Coke when I happened upon an ice cube tray covered with coffee, sugar, and some red substance we'll call kool-aid. Don't ask me what kool aid was doing in the freezer. I don't know. I came to the conclusion that I hadn't wiped this sucker down since Christmas. That's Christmas 2002. It's clean now and so are the ice cube trays.

I found the best way to lose weight....don't try! I have been eating my three squares. Keeping my regular exercise routines. I don't want to lose right now, I have a dress to fit into next weekend. So I get on the scale this morning...I have lost 5 more pounds. So I try on my dress, it's loose. I have lost 10 pounds since I had it altered. So I have two choices. Alter again myself, which I can do, but I choose option number two. For the first time in a long time, be a happy camper and eat every Hoho, Ding Dong, and Hostess cupcake I can get my hands on. Yes, option number 2.

Low Point of the Day: Cats won't stop attacking me, suspecting Mr. Wonderful of smearing tuna all over my body while I slept last night

High Point of the Day: Got that fitness mental mojo going, feeling great!

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